It’s a marathon, not a sprint.

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Well, this blog is turning into a real mish-mash isn’t it? Ah, c’est la vie. That’s how life goes. We change and so do the things around us. Not necessarily all at the same rate unfortunately.

I find that lately, I am really forcing myself day in and day out, to remember that this health thing? This ‘losing weight’ thing? This ‘get fit and strong’ thing, isn’t overnight.  It’s not a sprint. It’s not a 100m dash.  It’s a God damned marathon. The longest marathon EVER, I’m convinced. Screw that 26.2 miles. I’m on mile 123432423433.3. Truth.

It can be so frustrating, to know you’re eating clean and working your tail off, but see no budge on the scale. I’ve added some serious weight training to my regimen. I’m doing some high intensity interval training (HIIT) on every other day. I’m taking rest days. I’m doing massive bursts of plyometric cardio. I am seeing a change in my waist as it tucks in, but my crazy brain doesn’t allow me to really praise myself just yet for that.  The scale is still not budging, and in fact, I’m up nearly 20lbs from where I was a year ago.

Now I know you’ll all start a chorus with, “But the scale is just one number, Sarah! You’re building muscle!” and you’d be right. However, it’s pretty hard to remind yourself of that in the moment, isn’t it? You’re right. The scale is only one measurement of health, wellness and fitness, and really? It’s not a terribly good one.  Yes, you’re right. I’m probably building muscle that weighs so much more than fat. It’s just not easy to really hammer that home.  The brain knows, the heart feels something completely different. Inadequacy. Overwhelming failure. All tied to one number. Fun.

Every diet plan out there advertises how much weight  you can lose on their program. Even a relatively healthy plan like Weight Watchers, is purely focused and fixed on the number on the scale.  I remember going to my meetings and waiting to see the face of the woman recording it in my little book, only to hear a “Oh, keep working, you’ll get there!” as I see I’m up 0.5 lbs.  (Later finding out, the medication I was on, was ‘helping’ me to gain weight even as I spent unhealthy number of hours at Bally’s and ate what I thought at the time to be healthy.)

I also read a lot of “Healthy Living Blogs” and while I give credit to many of them for the successes I’ve found, and for the healthy spins on favourite recipes, it is also sometimes hard to follow them.  Very few that I have found (I’m sure they are out there – share them in the comments below!) are real and honest.  I admire the positive outlook, the upbeat personalities, but I refuse to believe that life is awesome 100% of every day, every week of every month of every year.  It can’t be like that, and reading that every day sometimes creates a false reality of what is ‘normal’.  It’s forcing me to hide the feelings that I want to cry and break down sometimes, because I just want an entire pan of brownies.  And no, not black bean-gluten-free-sugar-free-made-with-fairies-and-air brownies. I’m talking, Paula Deen butter y’all, brownies.  As a side note? I’d love to see some more honest posts from HLBs on the daily marathon of making the choice to be healthy.

The truth is, I’ve taken my blood pressure and pulse rate a few times lately.  My blood pressure is right around 125/70.  Pretty good right? My pulse rate? 51.  FIFTY ONE.  Folks. This is craaaaazy good! I’m also noticing that my pulse recovers a lot more quickly than it used to after every interval.  Those are pretty good indicators of inner health and heart health, wouldn’t you say?

I’m a muscular gal. I always have been. I put on muscle like nobody’s business.  My quadriceps are like rocks, (rocks that are always tired lately!) I wear heels specifically because I actually love to see my calves in them.  My belly might be soft and jiggly, but I think, if I squint my eyes and tell my low self-esteem to shut the hell up, I can see the beginnings of where the muscle will show through once the fat burns off.  I swear. I can see it.

I’m able to do more than I could 3 or 4 weeks ago when I started getting really serious. I’m less winded. I’m more driven. I’m more motivated. 9pm? Pshhh, not too late for a workout! What? Cookie from the coffeeshop? Nah. Not worth it. Quinoa, quinoa and more quinoa? Yep. I am determined this time, more than I ever have been. Committed is really a better term for it, because I know this isn’t about how great I’ll look in a swimsuit. This is about my health for the long haul.  I am committed to being healthy. I’m committed to using exercise as a drug to clear my head and quiet those negative thoughts that spin around so freely and unfettered.  I want this. I desire this. I’ll have this. The swimsuit really is a side benefit.

So, why should the number on the scale matter so much? This isn’t a race. I sure as hell didn’t get like this overnight so it’s not going to change overnight either.  While I tell all of you that a small brownie isn’t going to ruin the day, that’s not how I feel right now.  I feel like every, last, morsel in my face will change the outcome. I feel that no matter how many vegetables I eat, how many litres of water I chug, that one square of super dark chocolate will just RUIN EVERYTHING! EVERYTHING PEOPLE!  So numbers obsessed! I was in tears over chocolate chips this morning, I kid you not.

So, this post is me saying, I’m kind of over that today. It’s also saying – I’m with you people.  It’s a tough road and sometimes, knowing it’s not a quick sprint is frustrating and makes you wonder when you’ll ever get there.  Wherever there is for you.  I’m here with you. I’m finding healthier options for heavy winter foods I want and love. (I’ll keep sharing them on Twitter and Pinterest!) I’m going to continue to exercise like a madwoman because, damnit, it’s really good for my head. I feel clearer and just like a better person when I’ve sweat.  I’m going to continue making the good choices, fighting the good fight because I want this. I’ll get there, and so will you.  I know it.

Just sometimes, we need to be able to throw our hands up, get grumpy and say, “This SUCKS and I’m kind of done with it.” have our pity party, and then get on with our lives.

Labeling Sucks

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I have a confession. (I know, I know, I always do.  This time it’s good, I swear!)  Lately, I’ve been struggling with what to “call” myself.  Am I a vegetarian? Am I trying to be vegan? Pescatarian? Flexitarian? Menchies-atarian? What I have come up with while doing all this frustrating self-seeking, is that I just eat good food, that makes my body feel good and my mind strong.  That’s it.

Following healthy living bloggers and food bloggers has been an amazing help to me in figuring out what is important to me about eating and exercise. Truly, people like Gina and Dreena, have been instrumental in my continuing transformation and I cannot thank them enough for their honesty, amazing recipes, humour and a look into their lives.  However there is something else that devoutly following food blogging has done – it has made me afraid of judgement.

I’ve been struggling ethically, morally, emotionally and physically with eating fish, dairy and eggs.  I have tried very hard to stop and listen to my body to figure out what it needed, and how much of this struggle was my head and expectations or judgements that I put on MYSELF.  No one else is looking at what I eat, and judging whether or not I eat fish, or don’t eat dairy.  No one that matters anyway.  I have been doing it all by my lonesome, and it sucks.

I don’t want to worry about posting a picture of an AMAZING piece of local, wild caught fish that I enjoyed with a huge salad and veggies, for fear that my vegan friends won’t ‘like’ me.  I don’t want to be afraid to post my concerns about dairy and the dairy industry, even though I eat some yogurt and a bit of cheese.  I want to eat what feels good at the time and not cause more stress by worrying.  It’s hard enough to sort out feeling guilty for eating an egg on my own, without adding more to that battle.

So.  From this point out, I’m just not going to be afraid.  I’m going to post what I eat, what I like, and will TRY my damndest to be as fearless as I encourage everyone else to be.  That isn’t to say I’ll drive up to McDonald’s anytime soon, but I am going to be honest with myself and above all – kind.  It’s not fair to tell you all to ‘Fear no Food’ and then worry in my own head about judgement when I do that! So. Enough is enough! :D

I eat mostly plants, some fish, and a little dairy.  I forsee the future with a lot less of the latter things, and a whole lot more of the former, but that’s where I’m at right now and that needs to be okay. Not with you, but with me.

Let’s decide together, to work on not fearing judgement. It’s a biggie, let’s face it, so I say – we’ll work together on that.  Is there something you fear or have anxiety about with regards to food? What about the rest of your life? Is it holding you back or causing stress?

Right now, I’m eating a big bowl of greek yogurt with local berries and a peach. I’m looking forward to some wonderful sushi with friends later, picking up some summer fruit at the Farmers Market, and most likely, a donut from the amazing Cartems.  No guilt. No labels. Just great experiences and good food.

Food Obsessions – Rainy Thursday Edition

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With this change in weather (or so I thought), has come some changes in the way I cook and what I feel like eating.  Up until a day or three ago, it was warming up nicely, I was craving fresh garden salads and cool grains.  Enter days of cold rain.

That said, I still am in my ‘spring-summer’ eating mode, transitioning out of the heavier soups, stews and rich one pot meals.  This means creative salads, quicker preparation, more than a handful of little mason jars with a few millilitres of some random dressing I concocted littering our fridge and discovering a few new ‘favourites’ for the season. Or life. Whichever works. I thought maybe, I’d share a few food ‘obsessions’ with you all.  Perhaps make it a regular thing?

1.  Cholula

It was recommended by one of my favourite bloggers, The Fitnessista and boy, did she deliver! I have been putting this on everything from sautéed greens to eggs and even dipping tortillas in it to get more of it into my system.  So delicious.  I’m excited to try the other flavours as I can find them here in Canuckistan.

I confess to making a ‘quesadilla’ with half a tortilla, roasted garlic cream cheese and copious amounts of cholula.  I’m guilty.

2. Golda’s Finest Cilantro Pesto

Richard is always a cheerful face at the Vancouver Farmers Markets, and I am more than happy to partake! I’ve fallen in love with many of his blends, including Sundried Tomato, Basil and even Artichoke, but by far my favourite is the Cilantro.  This is odd, for those of you that know me, because normally I strongly dislike cilantro.  It is one of those herbs that you hear people exclaim how wonderful it is and profess their love, or you hear them spit, gag, cough and remark at how horrible and bright it is.  I’m somewhere in the middle, but this pesto changes my beliefs completely.  I’ve put it in quesadillas, blended it with lime juice for a rice salad, mixed it with eggs and have eaten it straight with a spoon.

3. Dreena Burton‘s Vegveeta Dip

Did anyone’s Mom lovingly heat up Velveeta and mix it with Salsa when they were a kid? I honestly can’t remember if mine did or not. (I’m guessing she probably didn’t, things like cheese product and soda were luxuries I did not get until I could buy them myself. I thank her now for that! Thanks Mom!) However, I have tasted the cheesy, tomatoey goodness before.  It’s been many moons since Velveeta touched my lips, but this dip fits the bill.  It’s so creamy and rich, you’ll again, want to put it on anything you can find. Whether you’re an omnivore or not, give this recipe a shot.  If you don’t have a very good blender, soaking the cashews in hot water (the amount specified) will help soften them up.

The recipe comes from her new cookbook, Let Them Eat Vegan and thus far, I am LOVING the book.  I’ve made many recipes from it and we’ve devoured each one. Including this dip at least three times since the book’s arrival.  Her recipes don’t fail, she’s got great tips for making your kitchen more “Plant Powered” and I love that she is always focused on nutrition, reducing sweeteners and oils (while keeping the chocolate!).   A woman after my own heart!  If you don’t have a cookbook from her yet, this is the one to nab!

See a trend with me here, folks? Sauces. Dips. Dressings.  Food quickly becomes a delivery system for more of whatever sauce I’ve made.  Meals are made around the sauce or dressing.  It’s a common theme here, particularly as the weather changes and I want simple foods and combinations.

What food, sauce, product or dressing are you obsessed with? Is there anything you simply can’t live without?  Maybe a recipe or a product I need to try?

It’s Okay. Really.

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I have a confession, folks.

I’ve been holding out on you. Yes, that’s right, holding out.  I’ve been cooking and eating, eating and cooking – all without you – and boy do I feel terrible! Sort of.

I’ve also been struggling a bit with eating, exercising and managing stress.  Yes, like the rest of the world.  But! Here I am, coming clean, and I even have a message to boot.  A message I need to repeat to myself on a daily basis.

Eating healthy is a choice.  It is a choice that we make repeatedly throughout the day, over and over.  This means that when we slip up, really, we can make it better the next time we have the opportunity to either feed our bodies nutritiously, feed our minds or feed our sugar addiction. (Which is exactly what I’ve been doing.)  We’ve all been there, and will probably be there again, but it’s okay.  It really is.  There is no reason to beat yourself up for having three servings of cookies, rather than one.  Just make a better choice next time.  I’m not saying you should gorge on cake every day and say, “But I ate spinach for lunch!” but, give yourself a break.  Be easy on yourself. Your body. Your mind. Your heart.   Learn to love choosing the healthier option for how it makes your body FEEL.

Living life in moderation is so much healthier for you, inside and out, rather than restricting and stressing over every bite that goes into your mouth.

So folks, remember. It’s okay.  I promise.

And with that, I leave you with a bit of my eats over the Winter and Spring.  I’ll be back a bit more often, with more of a “Here is my day” type format.  I hope you’ll hang around and enjoy life with me.

I celebrated St. Patrick’s Day with some Whole Wheat Irish Soda Bread…

..and provided homemade pizza for friends on Tuesday’s “Glee Night”.

Mimosas were definitely had at brunch…

…and my “Smileage” Card has gotten plenty of use.

I had healthy breakfasts of protein oats, mounded with berries and greek yogurt…

…and bowls of healthy strawberry protein pudding!

I made this stirfry over, and over and over…

..and ate a few meals in the car.  Sushi is harder than it looks!

I became obsessed with “BLT” salads, using Tempeh Bacon, and Katie’s vegan ranch…

..and of course, plenty of the most delicious decaf soy lattes EVER.  My beloved, JJ Bean.

And since you made it this far, check out my Pinterest boards for more of what I’ve been up to!

De-Guilting

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Ever heard the old idiom, “Better late than never?”  Really, this should be my motto.  I apologize in advance for this.

However in this case I really do think it’s the truth.  Being “Home” for the holidays with my in-laws has reminded me of what I’ve been missing while doing Christmas and Thanksgiving on our own.

Baking.  Holy Mother of Buddah. (And eating)

I have ingested an inordinate amount of butter, white flour, white sugar and chocolate in the last week – with no signs of stopping.  Moderation? Shmoderation.  I quickly (within 2 days of arrival) realized why I do not bake ‘normally’ anymore.

I. Will. Eat. It. All.

I have a distinct lack of ability to moderate my intake of sweets and it dawned on me, that is why I do what I do.  Swapping sweeteners. Experimenting with alternative flours.  Adding protein.  Replacing ingredients.  It also dawned on me, that many of you may like the idea of “healthier” treats but probably have no idea where to start.  Never fear!

Even Flour can be Confusing!

In the future, I’m going to do my best to give you my best tips and tricks to “De-Guilt” your baking, to add some nutritional value and to truly remove all the guilt (or at least a decent portion of it) for you.  I promise!  Unfortunately, you’ll still have to exercise SOME self control, but that’s life, folks.

I do need a little help from you though.  I want your recipes.  Your baking ideas. Things you love but feel guilty when you eat them.  Link here.  Email me.  Tweet them.  Smoke Signals. Whatever it takes – I want them!

Shoe Cookies? Seriously? Only way they could be better - Leopard Print.

SO! Go forth and Social Network! I mean…dig up your recipes and get them to me so I can post again…but healthier! The de-guilting process begins now.

Obsessive Compulsive

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One thing you will quickly learn about me is that there is never enough nutrition in anything I’m eating. Well, according to me there isn’t anyway. I will find ways to cram just one more vegetable into my chili, tuck a little whole wheat flour into my baking or perhaps swap out some flour for protein powder to increase the protein in a given dish.  This compulsion might be considered borderline obsessive, but really, there could be worse things to be obsessed with than added nutrition.  Like heroin.

One of my favourite ways to get a boost of vitamins and minerals is the green smoothie.  Behold the Vitamin-K-Iron-Enriched beauty!

I promise, it tastes way better than it looks.  Unless you think it looks amazing, in which case it tastes exactly as good as it looks. This concept has been roaming around the blog world forever, tried and true.  Angela over at Oh She Glows has the Green Monster Movement if you would like to check out her recipes and other readers’ recipes for the energy boosting shakes!

I wish I had some fancy recipe for you, but I honestly don’t as I rarely use one for smoothies. Often this turns out in my favour but other times…well, let’s just say it’s a good thing I have a high tolerance for “added nutrition”.  I did however do a photo shoot of today’s smoothie for you. I loved it so much that I had to recreate it, and you reap the benefits!

My recent favourite smoothie is based off a “Merry Mandarin” shake from a local smoothie joint which combines mango, orange juice, egg nog and frozen yogurt.  To make it a bit healthier, I used mango, orange juice, pumpkin pie spice, nutmeg, cinnamon, banana, protein powder and some water along with the magic ingredient – SPINACH!  Really folks, trust me, you won’t even taste the spinach as long as it gets blended up well.  If you have chunks, I encourage you to get a new blender pronto before attempting a green smoothie.

Put the spinach on the bottom, and weigh it down with the frozen fruit and protein powder before pouring all your liquids in, it will help your blender whizz up the greens without having to use the end of a wooden spoon and risk life and limb.

Your other option, should your blender be on its last legs, is to blend the spinach and liquids first before adding the frozen fruit.  I like this method as it is assures a chunk-free smoothie which is key to enjoying this green obsession of mine.

Pulse a few times to get it going, and don’t be afraid to add water to help it blend.  I used vanilla whey protein this time. As much as I dislike dairy, I like the creamy-factor that it gives to a smoothie like this, so it was worth it.

Blend blend blend, and taste.  Spice it as much as you like, they’re all good for your circulation and health, so go for it!

I never really measure, but add ingredients to taste. You may need more orange juice, or a little lemon juice to balance out the sweetness.  This often results in an odd amount of smoothie.

Mix it up and try out other ingredients!  Yogurt, berries, cranberry juice, soy milk – the sky is the limit here and I experiment a lot.  If one doesn’t work, don’t give up and try again.

I seem to forget about these beauties but everytime I return to them, I get…you guessed it…obsessive.

Well Hello There!

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So. You found me.  Now what?

You click the “Follow” button above me here, or subscribe by email to the right. Go ahead. No really, I’ll wait.   Done that? Perfect!  Thank you!  NOW – on with the show.

For years, I’ve been stewing, cooking and boiling up this obsession I have with food.  Admitting you have a problem is the first step right?  I’ve changed the stock, I’ve adjusted the seasonings, I’ve taken away the animal protein (for the most part anyway…) and I’ve honed my knife skills all leading to today.  What you’ll find here, is a smattering of healthy recipes (for the most part anyway…)  that do not sacrifice amazing taste, as well as a good helping of love from me to you! Well, the transfer medium is food, but that’s the sentiment I assure you.  Isn’t food a language spoken across the world? It certainly is for me.  I can also assure you that if I’m posting a recipe, my husband  ate it and enjoyed it and as a “reformed-meat-eater-gone-pescatarian-who-scrutinizes-food-for-green-bits”, that’s saying something.  I am by no means an expert, but I’ve finally found what works for me and allows me to indulge in my life’s passion.  Food.

Please, ask questions, throw me comments, feed my food to your family and friends, and above all – please, love what you’re cooking and get excited about it!

It makes a difference. Trust me.

Campfire cooking at its best!

See? How can you not love this and get excited? I can’t.   This was our first breakfast camping this summer – grilled salmon, yam, cauliflower and mushroom hash and grilled tomatoes on the side.  Campfire cooking for me, is even easier than cooking on my stove.  For one I have more room and secondly there are far less expectations of grandeur when you have one knife, a grate, one flimsy pan, whatever spices you thought to stick in airtight containers and some tin foil.   Spice mixes come in handy here, not going to lie.

I’ve collected photos of my cooking for various reasons, mostly because I’m just so damned proud of them and have to brag to family and friends.  However, often if I don’t have a photo I won’t remember what I cooked since I rarely use a recipe from start to finish.  Apparently grainy, iPod photos help me to remember this?   In sharing a few of the ones that don’t look like I took them in a bathroom full of steam, perhaps I can give you a bit of an idea of what kind of food I’ll be blogging about.

My favourite dessert of the summer!

Like this!  While I won’t say this is the healthiest thing you could be eating, I’m a huge fan of dessert.  I’m also a “Let’s eat dessert first!” kind of gal.  I figure, if it has berries in it, that counts for something!  I still cut the sugar in this recipe almost in half, used all whole wheat flour and cut the butter requirements and it was DELICIOUS.  If you were me, you’d serve this berry cobbler with a homemade vanilla bean whipped cream, but it’s not a necessity. (Yes it is. I swear.)

Raw Zucchini "Noodles" with a Cheezy Raw Sauce

Sometimes, I even dabble with the raw.  I’m no raw foodist by far, but I certainly love a good salad or crunchy vegetable, and as long as it tastes great and makes my body feel good – I’m in!  This just happened to be a quick lunch but was packed with enzymes, nutrients and complete protein thanks to hemp seeds!  Who needs a boring salad when you could munch on this fun pile of spiraly goodness?

Now, we all know nothing in life is free, well almost nothing.  So I ask a favour of you.  (Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but some day…)  In the spirit of sharing of course – I’d love to hear what sorts of things that you’d like to see, eat and read about.  I’ll be changing the appearance bit by bit as I settle in here, who I am and what I’m about will hopefully become more clear as time goes on, but in the meantime, please let me know!

Here’s to a beautiful friendship and healthy relationship with food!